We had a Smurftastic time :)

And we hope you did as well :)

Little Man is FIVE!!!!

Holy moly where does the time go????  My not so little (dude is in the 99.86% for height and 99.18% in weight.  He's gargantuan!) man turned 5.  We had a great weekend celebrating with family!  There was a hot air balloon festival so we got to watch the glow one evening then got up early one morning to watch them launch.  It was a great weekend....that of course involved cake :)  Here are a few pictures from our weekend!

Celebrate!

Out on business for 7 days.
Day 3:  Phone call to the Grandparents to check on my little people.
Little Man: " Mamma, can we celebrate when you get home?"
Oh hell YES we will celebrate!  I sure couldn't do this gig all the time.  The 3 to 4 weeks of the year that I have get to travel the  cheapest hotels state government can afford country is about all I can take.  What can I say, I'm a bleeding heart and hearing the voices of my little people from the other end of a phone begging me to come home kills me!  But!  My arms will be back around them soon!

Just makes you cringe :(

Him: Would you believe she hasn't enrolled them in school yet?
Me:  Yes.  I mentioned that might be a problem you should watch out for when your custody changed.
Him:  Yeah, well I'm going to make sure it gets done.
Me:  Did they move back into the school district or do you need to apply for out of district attendance?
Him:  .............................
Me:  Where are they staying?
Him:  With The Wicked Witch.
Me:  Oh Cruella's parent's are talking to her again?
Him:  Well they had a problem.
Me:  What problem would cause them to want to make amends?
Him:  They had to bail her out of jail.
Me:  Oh.  I know how this ends.

Yep.  I knew exactly how it went from there.  Cruella and Horace (who have now been divorced longer then Pongo and I have been but have then been living together again for about the last year) got into a physical fight.  He called the police.  He had marks.  She had none.  She got arrested.  The only thing I wasn't sure of was what happened to the kids that evening. So I asked.

Him:  They went with The Wicked Witch.
Me:  Well it's good that she got there and they released the kids to her.
Him:  Well Nemo and Dory took LC and they all ran down the road before the police got there and called The Wicked Witch to come pick them up.
Me:  Oh..........you realize how lucky you are that your kids didn't get taken into state custody that night?
Him:  Oh yeah, they're fine.

He laughed and chuckled through the whole story.  I threw up a little bit in my mouth.

So Thoughtful

The kids were gone for 4 looooooooong days.  It has been quite some time since some sort of change hasn't needed to be made to parenting time.  The changes always involve the kids being away from me for shorter periods of time less frequently.  I waited for a phone call to adjust the schedule last week and to my surprise it never came.  Needless to say I jumped when I got a phone call asking me if I could come pick them up early on the last day.  Then on the ride home I realized again, just how special my little people are.

Little Man:  Mom can we go to a restaurant to eat tonight?
Me:  No bubby, mom doesn't have money to eat out tonight.
Little Lady:  Momma, I can pay.  I have money!

I glance in the rear view mirror to see her proudly clutching a single shinny penny between her two tiny fingers.

My day just got better and better from that moment on.  She's so thoughtful.

not sure where i'm going but i kind of like it here :)

Hi!

I'm invoking my God given right as a women to change my mind!  Although it's not totally changing my mind since when I last wrote I did make it fully known that I'm frequently changing my mind and may be back.  So this is me coming back.  I have no particular reason other then this bumpy ass road to finding myself is starting to get a little long and so I decided why not go back to something I know I enjoy!  You ladies (if any of you are still out there lol) rock and can certainly make a difference in a gals life.

Now for a completely pointless, semi unrelated, story.

In my quest to find/better/regain myself I've finally started REALLY physically taking care of myself.  My lovely little bugs get quite the kick out of watching me work out so it's dual purpose.  Keeps them entertained and kicks my butt into shape.  One evening I was busting out a session of the 30 day shred.  My little man (who is now 4 1/2) stands next to me and intently watches the tv....then looks at me....then back at the tv.  After a few moments he looks at me, "mom I like her tummy" pointing to the obscenely toned stomach displayed on the tv screen.  "Why don't you show your tummy like her mom?"  Because all 58 lbs (ironically the exact amount of weight I gained while pregnant with you, yeah I ate!) of your current little self started in my tummy and there is now no chance in hell of my abs ever looking like that....ever  "My tummy doesn't look quite like her's babe."  "Oh, well I like your's better mom!"   I love that child and may now need to consume one less glass of wine to counter act his sometimes terrorist behavior ;)

O!  And the kids insisted on "making" my birthday cake this year.  Last year they were with their father on my birthday and returned to me the following day only to ask if I had a cake on my birthday. I told them no and they asked why.  I simply told them there was no one to eat cake with mommy on her birthday. So periodically over the last year they have continued to tell me they were going to make my cake.  I stumbled across and idea that I knew would be perfect and allow them to "make" my cake.  I just have to show it off because they were so proud of themselves!

so long farewell auf wiedersehen goodbye

I leave for South Carolina on Sunday for business and then am taking VACATION the following week!!!!!!

But the last couple days, as I've begun packing and tying loose ends up around the office (bc lets face it, i have the chance to not show my face in the office for two weeks and by golly I'm going to take FULL advantage of that!) I had and overwhelming sense of...I don't really know what to call it...but it felt like good bye.  Which is really quite silly since I'm only intending on being completely out of touch with the world for one week.  But that's what it felt like.  I've been tossing the feelings around a little more purposefully the last day and have begun to sort them out.  I actually think that as the 1 year anniversary of my physical separation from Pongo approaches that things are starting to have a different effect on me.  I still come here on a regular basis to sort stuff out.  However you surely can tell by the dramatic decrease in posts that I haven't been able to put thoughts to paper screen.  When this season of change gained it's full force in my life the sole goal i wanted to accomplish was to regain my sense of self.  I still immensely enjoy reading and following many of your lives.  But when I read, in many ways, I feel like I've lost my right to "get it".  I've crossed over to the other side per say.  I actually hate that I now fit into a category of people that for many years I could only feel frustration, anger, hurt, animosity, and even at some points, hate towards.  I strive hard in everything I do to not perpetuate that cycle.  To not reinforce the stereotype.  To be a better person for my kids and myself.  I still try, as logistically as possible, to be involved in Nemo and Dory's lives.  However frankly, I've been fully replaced.  Moments where I'm able to express my continued love and concern for them are few and far between and I cherish them that much more.  So there is still a very active part of me that feels the step momma flame rekindle when I hear continued stories of how my his babies are being used like pawns.  Then just as quickly it's doused with a cold bucket of reality when I sadly realize, yet again, that I have as much influence over their precious lives now as I did when Pongo and I were married.  I've moved on from that point in my life.  Have already had a semi successful, yet short term, healthy, normal relationship.  And now...now, nearly a year after taking my leap, just shy of 2 1/2 years after starting this blog, I believe the sense of "goodbye" I've been feeling is really a goodbye to that part of my life.  It may be goodbye for now, or it may be goodbye forever, hell it may be goodbye for two weeks because yes, I can still be that wishy washy once and a while ;)  I can't stop following the lives of so many of you lovely ladies and plan to continue to lurk around.  Know that you have lived with me through some of the best and worst times of my life thus far, and I will be forever thankful and grateful for having the opportunity to grace the pages which you write as well as to have you grace mine.

Lots of Love,  Just Me :)